Early morning thinking
Just giving life some thinking..
It’s pretty weird that life can suddenly change like that. The rest of your life is based on one simple mistake and not on good things you did.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure this is the best way to go. It’s not the most righteous thing to do, but hell it was given a violent shove to incidentally go that way. It’s all messed up now. Kinda like breaking a mirror, and can never put the pieces back together. But I see it the complete opposite.
All I know right now is I’ll wait. I know the promise I made. That no matter what, I’m not letting go.. That no matter where she decides to leave me, thats where she’ll find me again..
ey pips, me n our son being silly..
this picture..something to cherish.. this little guy.. my life..
You can’t fill your cup until you empty all it has.
You can’t understand what lays ahead if you don’t understand the past.
You’ll never learn to fly now ‘til you’re standing at the cliff.
And you can’t truly love until you’ve given up on it.
i guess there’s not gonna be a might be..there’s not gonna be a “could have been”.. just a bunch of “was’” and “weres”..
im on a different path now, a very unfamiliar territory.. im struggling yet hopeful that maybe.. just maybe..our paths might cross again.. but then again they may not.. uncertainties are a bitch..
i wish i have more words to describe how it feels to be left alone.. when you no longer matter.. when you reach out but noone grabs you.. in fact, its devastating.. it seems like a huge insurmountable mountain that no matter how hard you try just finding a way to conquer it, nothings works.. like a puzzle with no solution.. a tunnel with no light at the end.. death with no life..
ever thought that everyone and everything special to you will find a way to fade and slip away?? when you lose sight of who you are to them, you lose sight of there value.. thus taking them and everything that matter for granted.. and then no matter how much you want them to stay, its too late.. its too late to forgive and forget.. you plead for a chance to straighten things up, but to no avail. then it starts to sink in.. its done, your castle has crumbled!!
but this blog is not written to say that giving up is ok.. rather this blog is indicative of the saying if you really love someone, chase after them.. you dont set them free, you make them see that you’ve found them and you’ll hold on.. why?? because this might be your last, you hold on to it because you might never get it again.. but this time, you make aure you dont give them a reason to leave.. anymore..
i dont even know if anyone reads my blogs.. i wish that one person did.. but she doesnt and she won’t.. irony wins again.. i guess im looking for a single soul that could promise me that she’ll be fine.. that she’ll somehow remember me in ways that only her can do.. that she’ll somehow love me in the most subtle yet special way.. that somehow she’ll still care..
and i end this with hope.. hope that maybe this isnt the last time tht our stars get tangled..the hope that my existence still leads to hers.. then, and only then, will i be at peace..the wait is long, but i dont want to be impatient.. i will it make it a part of who i am to pave for who i will be.. wherever she left me, there she’ll find me..
12
It’s sometimes easy to give up on something when all it takes Is a little time and effort and you’ll be glad you tried again. Love is a strange thing, it’s exciting it’s true, But it can also be just wanting to be in the same room as someone..
